Sep 13, 2010

Historic Events: World War II

Hello, and welcome to what will hopefully become a regular series about historic events. Today, we will start out by discussing World War II. More specifically, we will be covering the German leaders and notable soldiers.

Of course, the man in charge of the Third Reich was the evil deity war god king tyrant HITLER, who led the Germans to wage war against the foolish people that were to blame for everything (commonly called JEWS [or JUICE] ).

What many people don't know is that the second in command was named HIMMLER. Now, this seems like a coincidence, right? Well, so you'd think, unless you look farther down the list.

The chain of command of the German army was as follows

                                             HIMMLER ----- HAMLER (Janitor)
  HATLER (Air Force Commander) ---- HILTER (Land Force Commander)
\           /
HOYTLER (Naval Force Commander)
HITYER (Chief Intelligence Advisor)
HASTLER (Chief Stupidity Advisor)
GEORGE (Guy who just wandered
in and was handed a high-ranking
position in Hitler's army)

Now, you may think I'm making this up, but you are wrong. This is all accurate recorded fact that you can find in any first grade history textbook. The fact that the German leaders all had similar names allowed them to  lead an army to kill every living thing in Germany.

Now, most people suffer from the delusion that we won WWII because of our superior everything, but this is not true. For the most tactical advance in Hitler's army also led to his downfall. The average Nazi, with an average IQ of about 48, was unable to tell who was ordering them around. The first sign of their defeat was when the Land Force thought that Hoytler was ordering them, and proceeded to follow his orders. They got into their tanks, drove into the water, and drowned.

That's all for now. Next time in Historic Events, God willing, we will be exploring the legend of ALEXANDRO EL GREATO!

1 comment:

  1. XY again. Hilarious post. You are win!