Disregard

Okay, welcome to my blog. By now, I only have one follower, and that's okay. Except that it makes this post kind of awkward, cause they're the only one reading this, and it sounds like it's directed at them (Hi.) but it's not. Just in case of my blog ultimately taking over the world, this is a semi-sort-of disclaimer.

Upon coming back to this derelict and abandoned shell of a blog, I re-read my posts. The humor in them seems forced, in my opinion. I look upon those posts, and my heart is filled with regret at the potential of humor within those topics, and I wish I had not written them, but I will leave them there as a testament to honesty (I actually don't know how to delete them.).

Anyway, the above paragraph refers to all posts before this one, except the first and the last. The last was relating to something completely different, which only a few select people will remember (The person currently subscribed to my blog will be one of them.) In fact, I may actually delete it, because its so irrelevant to everything.

Also, deleting it would make there be a mysteriousness about my blog; a mystique. Also, I could delete any posts discussing its contents, and make it even more mysterious.

And the first post was about my 'plans' for World Domination via this blog.

Ignore those plans.

That post was a joke.

Really.

Don't build any countermeasures.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

__________________________________________________________________________

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

War Machine: 1) Turtle Tank

Jakefeb3: do you know a turtles only weakness?
AvatarOfSolusek: no
AvatarOfSolusek: well
AvatarOfSolusek: thier slowness
Jakefeb3: there weakness is they cant roll over when they are on their backs
AvatarOfSolusek: lol
Jakefeb3: now i have a plan
Jakefeb3: if i duck tape 2 turtles together they are unstoppable


_______________________________________________________________




Today we are going to discuss an amazing idea for a war machine. If you have read the above, you are no doubt thinking of the obvious errors within the chat, which I am about to list:


1) They both misspelled 'their'.
2) I'm pretty sure he means 'duct tape'.
3) Duct taping two turtles together would leave about 200 degrees unprotected.


Thus, the obvious plan would be to increase the amount of turtles. Three is relatively good, as it would be hard to place them sideways. Now, what to do when you have the turtles tied together?


World Domination.


Now, turtles would, of course, be unstoppable, but they wouldn't be able to harm anything. Thus, the only solution: Gatling Guns. If, to each turtle tank, you stick one remote-operated Gatling Gun, you can fire on anybody at will, this providing the fire power.


I would provide a diagram, but I don't feel like drawing one right now. If you want, you can make one.

QDB

Hello. First of all, I might post another blog entry later today, but maybe not. For now, I'm just gonna post a lot of quotes from Bash.org
Also, please tell everyone you know about this blog XDD
Here goes:

<Dharkbayne> Reverse Jesus would blind and cripple random people. And give them leprosy.
<Dharkbayne> Reverse Jesus crucified the entire Roman Empire.
<Dharkbayne> Reverse Jesus makes you die for his sins.
<Dharkbayne> Reverse Jesus can sink in water.
<Dharkbayne> Reverse Jesus can turn wine into water.
<Dharkbayne> Reverse Jesus dares you to stone whores if you're sinner.
<Dharkbayne> He was born in a cave on Easter and was killed in a shootout on Christmas eve when three kings finally tracked him down for outstanding debts of gold and spices.




<helminthes> i had a vision today of an infomercial where someone goes, "only 29.99??!" and shoots himself




<spil0ink> is it pronounced live or live?
<Shit_Pifter> live
<spil0ink> thanks
<Shit_Pifter> np




<joel`> Penguins are the only fish that can fly




<beaker> > MR IP MASTER : OURS FIREWALLS WERE DETECTING A LOT OF TRYINGS TO
  VIOLATE
<beaker> > THE SECURITY OF OURS SYSTEMS FROM THE NEXT IP UNDER YOUR DOMAIN
<beaker> > ADMINISTRATOR
<beaker> >
<beaker> > WE WAIT FOR AN INMEDIATLY SOLUTION




<@DarkHoly> you live in canadian future, that's like, wright brothers just invented airplane
<Tdot> airplane?
<Tdot> O_o
<@DarkHoly> see?




Tarja: TODAY in auto shop
Tarja: there was this giant spider crawling about in Penguin's engine and i insisted no one kill it
Tarja: then Penguin came back (it was his car) and i showed him it
Tarja: and he was like, oh yeah, that's the engine spider, he checks the oil and stuff
Tarja: makes sure everything's running ok




<MrMonkey> Erdrick: I speak your language a lot better than I speak yours, ok?




(tobyl) It's damn hard to schedule these things, and we're hitting major plot.
(tobyl) Not to mention my character just went up two levels.
(Fetch) wow
(Fetch) what'd you kill?
(Sancho) the DM




<slappy> I leave punk on for my cats so they'll get more hardcore while I'm out




<SPACEBOY|GTA3> when the pain stops... thats when you know you've kicked the bucket
<nuggetman> i just read the obituaries to make sure i'm not there




ilsa: well i suppose calculus isn't rocket science and some people can't do that...
MistrE: calc is nearly rocket science
CuriosCat can do rocket science
CuriosCat: it's easier than calculuc
CuriosCat: caalculus




<kmad> ppl should stop using worn-out cliches because they're not funny anymore
<}}T-DuB--> is that your final answer?




* xargs should not drive a bike
<xargs> because...
<xargs>               o       _      _          _
<xargs>      _o      /_    _ \o   (_)__/o   (_)
<xargs>    _< _    _>(_)  (_)/<_     _|     _|/' /
<xargs>   (_)>(_)  (_)         (_)    (_)     (_)'  _o_
<xargs> =(




<Nirvana000> So I went to Wal-Mart today to try and buy a copy of San Andreas.
<Nirvana000> I couldn't see any copies on the shelves so I went to the counter to ask. The girl didn't speak a word of English. I tried asking her "Do you have San Andreas for sale?" in a REALLY slow and clear tone, but she just shrugged her shoulders. Then she said something in Spanish over the speakers.
<Nirvana000> I was REALLY getting pissed at this point.
<Nirvana000> She must have called the manager, cos he came up to the counter and started asking me in poor English what I wanted.
<Nirvana000> Me: "Do you have San Andreas? SAN ANDREAS!"
<Nirvana000> Him: "SAN FERNANDO!?!?!"
<Nirvana000> Me: "WTF? SAN ANDREAS!"
<Nirvana000> Him: "AAH, SAN FERNANDO!"
<Nirvana000> He went into the back muttering something about San Fernando. WTF?
<Nirvana000> Couple minutes later he came out with a copy of Madden NFL 2004. He was waving it around, and he wouldn't stop saying "SAN FERNANDO! SAN FERNANDO!"
<Nirvana000> And then I just left.




Dracula: Roses are red
Dracula: Violets are blue
Dracula: this line doesn't rhyme
Dracula: and neither does this one




<zRz> Hello a question... that I have to make to be able to write in color in the devil??




<MrFixIt> kekekekekekekeke zerg rush ^____^
<MrFixIt> That's all the Korean I know




<julia> my inglish is pore
<Nurgle> engrish
<julia> ja! my engrish is pore




Phil: dude
Daryl: wut?
Phil: I just found a pic of me when I was like 6, wearing a red mcdonalds hat with canadian ear flaps that says "mc kids"
Phil: I want to punch myself in the face




<*> This mouse wheel is so loud I can beatbox with it.
<*> This is a skill about as far removed from "Hunter Gatherer" as it gets.

Historic Events: World War II

Hello, and welcome to what will hopefully become a regular series about historic events. Today, we will start out by discussing World War II. More specifically, we will be covering the German leaders and notable soldiers.

Of course, the man in charge of the Third Reich was the evil deity war god king tyrant HITLER, who led the Germans to wage war against the foolish people that were to blame for everything (commonly called JEWS [or JUICE] ).

What many people don't know is that the second in command was named HIMMLER. Now, this seems like a coincidence, right? Well, so you'd think, unless you look farther down the list.

The chain of command of the German army was as follows

HITLER

|

                                             HIMMLER ----- HAMLER (Janitor)

|

  HATLER (Air Force Commander) ---- HILTER (Land Force Commander)

\           /

HOYTLER (Naval Force Commander)

|

HITYER (Chief Intelligence Advisor)

|

HASTLER (Chief Stupidity Advisor)

|

GEORGE (Guy who just wandered

in and was handed a high-ranking

position in Hitler's army)

Now, you may think I'm making this up, but you are wrong. This is all accurate recorded fact that you can find in any first grade history textbook. The fact that the German leaders all had similar names allowed them to  lead an army to kill every living thing in Germany.

Now, most people suffer from the delusion that we won WWII because of our superior everything, but this is not true. For the most tactical advance in Hitler's army also led to his downfall. The average Nazi, with an average IQ of about 48, was unable to tell who was ordering them around. The first sign of their defeat was when the Land Force thought that Hoytler was ordering them, and proceeded to follow his orders. They got into their tanks, drove into the water, and drowned.

That's all for now. Next time in Historic Events, God willing, we will be exploring the legend of ALEXANDRO EL GREATO!

The Hungry Tollbooth

(NOTE: This is actually a true story. Well, mostly.)


So, two or three weeks ago, I was on vacation in an unidentified location (NDA), and we're just driving along, when we take a wrong turn, and end up inside an automatic tollbooth. The correct amount to pay was 1.25 in quarters, so we tossed 5 quarters in to the slot.

The barrier did not rise...

It was nighttime, and we could see the tollbooth glaring at us hungrily, and we knew that the only way to get by was to feed it more. So we threw in another quarter. That's 25 cents over the needed payment.

Still, it hungered.

We gazed at it. It growled at us. In went two more quarters.

Still, it hungered.

We were witnesses to the first insurgent of the robot uprising; a tollbooth, of all things. We were at its mercy, and there was nowhere to go, since there was nobody in the tollbooth to help us (probably cause it got eaten). We had payed two dollars, to no avail.

It glared at us, growling. We knew we had to keep feeding it. In went another quarter. In went dimes, nickles, pennies. Everything we could find. We cut off the straps of our seatbelts, and tossed them in, but to no avail. We got out scissors, and cut off our hair, and threw it in, but to no avail. We tossed the scissors in, but still to no avail. In went all our luggage; still nothing.

We searched through the rental car, high and low, for anything to help, but we couldn't find anything. Is the tollbooth's menacing gaze grew larger, we knew we had to react quickly. We threw in our final quarter, hoping against hope...

The barrier rose, and the car lurched forward just as the tollbooth lunged at it. We were going over 500 mph in an attempt to escape it, and I'm proud to say that we were mostly successful, except that it managed to eat the trunk of the car.

Well, we got away, but the sound of metal scraping against the road as our front wheels slowly pulled the car forward followed us all the way to our destination.

And that is why toll booths are bad.

World Domination: Step 1

Well, here goes nothing. I just created this blog, so I don't know how this is gonna look when I post it, or even if it will get posted. I am a total noob to this site. I suppose I could use the preview to see how it looked, but I'm too lazy. So, here's to my new blog! :D

Now, you may have been wondering about the title of this blog update, as well as the background picture for the blog. Well, you see, it's simple; following the style of certain other blog owners, I am going to try and become famous, which will allow me to take over the whole world (tying this in to the background of the blog). Now, in the interest of cheesy humor and just the urge to get this blog up and running as soon as possible, I'm just gonna list my world domination step as follows, using the age-old meme which is kind of funny, but not really:

STEPS FOR WORLD DOMINATION

1. Create Blog
2. ????
3. CONQUER THE EARTH!!!

So, I'm not even gonna bother winding up this blog post, although I guess I am right now. So, I need to figure out how to do everything on my blog. This'll work out well...